


Adrian (not that Adrian) and Eddie

by Postsynthcomrade5



Category: Bottom (UK), Original Work
Genre: 1980s, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Breaking the Fourth Wall, British Comedy, Comedy, Crossover, Crossover Pairings, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Flashbacks, M/M, One Shot Collection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-06-23 14:33:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15608370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Postsynthcomrade5/pseuds/Postsynthcomrade5
Summary: Adrian reunites with a old skinhead mate of hisEddie





	1. Reunited!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrian is a old friend of Eddie's from his days as a skinhead  
> but this mate of his is now part cyborg  
> this is a series of short stories of Adrian and Eddie's times together from then and now

  
Adrian meeting Eddie his skinhead mate from the past as we learn a bit more about his backstory

and...Richard freaking Eddie's flatmate Richie out

Adrian seductively complimented "he may be a total pig but he's as hot as bacon"  
  
Eddie grinned in response "thank you"  
  
(meanwhile when it comes to the two Richards Richard, Adrian's friend, and Richie Eddie's flatmate)  
  
Richard introduced himself "Guten Tag it's nice to meet you I'm Richard I'm honestly very surprised to see Adrian recollect old memories like that he's part cyborg if you didn't know"  
  
Richie, however, was internally freaking out "There's a vampire in my house there's a vampire in my house there's a..."

unaware of his and Richard's suspiciously similar names

Richie instead replied with "May I say what a smashing blouse you have on" complimenting Richard's lacy Gothic blouse  
  
Richard took the compliment well "Danke it would be a delight to smash you" taking it as a different type of compliment   
  
(later after Richie realized Richard wasn't a woman but a cross-dressing man)  
  
Richie sighed "I can never get any birds to visit my nest"  
  
Richard moved his eyes suggestively  
  
Richie stuttered pointing at him coldly "you  aren't a bird you're a half bird like a Phoenix"  
  
Richard smirked "so what you're saying is I'm so hot I'd burst into flames"  
  
the fire alarm then went off  
  
Richie casually said "I never was a good cook anyways"  
(later) 

(a few days later) (Richard would still stay indoors while Adrian would hang out with Eddie with the Professor tagging along this time Kelsie joined in)  
  
Richie held his hands on his head whining "I MISS EDDIE AT LEAST DESPITE MY LONELINESS I ALWAYS HAD THAT OLD GIT WITH ME EVEN IF HE HATED MY EXISTENCE NOW THAT ADRIAN BITCH HAS HIM BY HIS FINGERTIPS I HAVE NO MATE TO VENT TO ABOUT HOW I CAN'T GET BIRDS"  
  
Kelsie was sitting at the table across from him  casually said "I can't get any birds either"  
  
Richie looked at her   
  
Kelsie pondered

"I mean I've always been looking for a guy who felt the same nihilism I felt about life"

Richie tried to look cool with his response "Well I know someone who fits that description"  
  
Kelsie blankly stared "I don't have tinder" before inhaling "Richie you're pathetic but so am I want to be mates"?  
  
Richie simply answered with "Sure"

so any day that involved Eddie hanging out with Adrian Richie would hang out with Kelsie so they both felt less lonely

they'd go to shows, the cinema and take walks in the park it was nice.

 


	2. Chapter 2

However one of the nights Eddie and Adrian had spent together involved Adrian being drunk when he got home which was annoying The Professor and Adrian's "brother" an android called Rudi whom Adrian was making offensive jokes to

Adrian mocked "you have a life now that he's not part of your life anymore oh wait no your head is full of nuts and bolts from watching Disney sequels all day"

Richie was confused by the randomness "Did get your bird drunk?"  
  
Eddie shrugged

"Maybe"  
  
Richie answered

"that is not how you treat a bird, Eddie"  

only for Adrian to run over to Eddie over dramatically  
  
 "Oh Eddie the others were being mean again let vati (German for Daddy) beat them up for me"  
  
Eddie felt aroused but surprised  

"Ohh Yes Miss Matzelberger your wish shall be granted"

Eddie swung his hand at Rudi punching him, The Professor slapped Adrian and Richie then kicked Eddie for being such a moron

Eddie decided to join Ukip much to Richie's dismay

  
Eddie declared on the podium "I say if someone is being an annoying git nobody matter who they are you sock them so they know that nobody is better than anyone else"  
  
Richie was in the audience

 **"** Well excuse me"

 

There was also a time they all went shopping but Richie, The Professor, and Richard got lost while Adrian and Eddie were looking for them

it gets confusing considering their similar names 

 

"Richie where ever you're stumbling about at GET BACK HERE right now!" Adrian yelled

 "how dare you I rarely ever drink anything other than Sherry" Richie answered offended 

"Would mister Richard please return to aisle 7 please" went the supermarket announcer 

 

 

"Wait are you Richard or am I, Richard?" Richie asked confused 

I don't know what I do know is the sausages on that display look tasty would you like a piece of my sausage Richard responded stealing a hot dog

Richie screamed

"not in that way I have a hot dog in my hand would you like some" Richard offered 

"I am not interested in animal knobs thanks" Richie explained declining the offer

but you eat chicken balls at a "Chinese takeaway" The Professor asked 

The Stupid git Eddie said 

the drama queen how did he even manage to get lost Adrian sighed 

"SHUT UP ADRIAN"! both Richie, Richard and The Professor shouted 

oh wait I thought your middle name was Elizabeth Adrian asked Eddie puzzled 

the fourth wall had been smashed like the smashing blouse Richard had on 


	3. Adrian's breakdown

Eddie and Adrian hadn't just recently met when Adrian and Eddie were still skinheads back in the day they were good mates

they would organize protests, they would listen to 2 tone and Oi! music, they'd playfully tackle each other while rolling in the grass and as they got older they would go to the pub regularly until one day...

One of these gangs involving a young auburn haired Adrian Stuart Houston and blonde Eddie Hitler (this was back when Eddie still had hair and before Adrian was a cyborg)

So what do you think of my Graffiti

asked Adrian in his strong Austrian accent

What Graffiti? Eddie asked as he downed a beer bottle he held in his hand

Mien graffiti on this wall see it says Target Margaret Adrian said trying to convince Eddie that it would get their message out while he pointed to the wall that had Target Margaret sprayed on in sloppy blue spray paint

Well do you know what I think Eddie said laughing under his breath

What Adrian asked in anticipation at what Eddie’s opinion was

I think that… the colour is too saturated, the message and alliteration sounds too nice to be threatening and overall it looks like total bollocks

Oh Adrian said quietly pouting

You need to think of a threat along the lines of the only birds I like are the ones that aren’t in charge of parliament  Eddie said trying to think of a idea

But we are supposed to stop thatcher not seduce her complained Adrian

Is that what we were doing? Eddie said hiccuping from the beer he drank earlier

Yes because we have no jobs and we don’t want to be on benefits anymore said Adrian slapping himself

Oh well if I could have a job I’d be that Joan Major’s husband said Eddie thinking perverted thoughts

You mean John Major?  that’s a bloke right you aren’t a bloody queer Adrian explained sounding annoyed

Oh um of course not I like birds as much as the next bloke Eddie answered back coughing in between sentences

But Eddie you know me I don’t get any birds and neither do you we are working class men who are history enthusiasts who are also perverted almost all the birds nowadays are feminists so they wouldn’t want a bloke in their life Adrian shouted

Then maybe I should be a bird then it can’t be that difficult and what is this feminist thing the last time I heard that was when a bird at the pub socked me in the face  Eddie babbled

Adrian had enough with the dipsomaniac known as Eddie Hitler he felt like having a fight with him when he felt a mental disconnection as he started to forget his surroundings and delve into despair

Eddie asked What’s wrong matey?

I don’t feel well Eddie I’m aching everywhere what are we doing? Adrian mumbled feeling dejected

We were in the middle of a protest but the others got arrested so we were just taking care of the leftovers Eddie answered

Who cares about the leftovers or even the stupid protest it’s like I’m going get any jobs who’s even going to care if we die anyway?

I care I need a job it’s hard to find a job when your last name is Hitler and if you’d die I’d miss you I’d have nobody to have pub fights with and even in the afterlife I’d look upon earth and laugh at you like I usually do

It was too late Adrian had already walked off like he couldn't even hear what Eddie had said to him.

what was revealed was that Adrian had a breakdown when Eddie visited him Adrian didn't look the same Adrian was restrained to a bed with wires all around him 

“Institutionalized”?  how can Adrian be institutionalized he’s one of my best mates as well he is my best mate why are you doing this to him? Eddie shouted

“It’s for his own good he has a severe case of depression which requires treatment”  he would be in too much of a dissociative melancholic state at the moment,” said one of the doctors

“My mate Adrian can’t be a loony he just can’t be Oh God” screamed Eddie feeling nervous at the thought him not being able to see Adrian again

“Hallo Eddie I’m the Professor you’ll be able to see Adrian again once he’s in a more stable condition just know that he’s in safe hands another doctor explained

“just Bugger off the lot of you Adios Adrian our murals won’t be as beautiful anymore” snapped Eddie as he started crying as he left the front desk walking round to the local pub to drink his sorrows away

 


	4. The Camping Trip

 after that Eddie moved to Hammersmith where he met Richie and Adrian met with his other mate The Professor while it wasn't until recently that Adrian had recollected all of his memories there was one time in the 1990s when Richie and Eddie went camping.

 The Professor fished in the lake while Adrian just watched in between reading his magazines and listening to Sony Walkman

"Aw I can't seem to catch anything today"

Adrian noticed something suspicious in the pond a closed packet of biscuits that had ended up in the pond 

"Wait Professor I see a packet of biscuits in the middle of that pond"

The Professor focused on his fishing

"Silly Adrian biscuits don't grow on trees"

Adrian rolled his eyes

"I didn't say they grew on trees and said there's a biscuit packet  in the middle of the pond"

The Professor then started to rotate the rod so he could catch the Hob Nob biscuits

"Ooooh maybe I'll finally catch something"

"Yes I have caught the knobs with my rod" he said once he caught them 

Adrian cringed

"did you have to say that"

(elsewhere in the woods)

Richie and Eddie were arguing as usual

"I beg your pardon" yelled Eddie

Richie whined "Eddie for the last time I didn't steal your fishing rod"

(later on Richie and Eddie had been attacked by a flasher invading their tent which The Professor and Adrian could see from nearby)

Adrian screamed "What in the name of  Franz Arcdick  was that?"

The Professor woke up 

"What?"

Adrian shouted 

"A FLASHER I need to go drown could you wait for me"

The Professor changed his outfit from pajamas to that of what an explorer would wear

"Well this looks like a job for the Professor"

The Professor and Adrian walked over with The Professor holding his torch 

"I see we aren't the only victims I'll investigate"

Adrian made a sarcastic remark sipping his blackcurrant drink

"Oh this will end well"

The Professor tiptoed to Richie and Eddie's tent scaring off the flasher by attacking it with his fishing rod

"It's ok gentleman, I'm Professor Poisonberry and I speak for the trees"

Adrian facepalmed at the Wild Thornberries reference

The Professor kept rambling like he was the Lorax

"and all the ashes that arrive in this very woods"

Eddie said "Ashes? like we set our tent over a couple of corpses"

The Professor nodded

"exactly and I think it's time we leave as a flasher is an enemy to us explorers"

Adrian shouted from the other side

"WAIT A SECOND I THOUGHT YOU WERE A PROFESSOR"

The Professor scoffed

"ignore her that's my naughty sister you know what our birds are like right?"

Adrian yelled

"WE ARE NEVER CAMPING AGAIN!"

Eddie laughed

Richie something tells me this isn't an explorer or a professor it's a prostitute

The Professor felt proud for saving them

"so it's great that I saved you isn't it?"

The Professor and Richie said Smashing at the same time

"your blouse sir it's very smashing"

The Professor smirked forgetting about the helping part as he felt attracted to them

"well this professor prostitute sure likes a good smashing"

Adrian had enough "you filthy knob" as he threw the hob knob packet 

Richie noticed they got the biscuits back when he caught the packet just as Adrian had thrown it 

"Eddie We have the Hob Nobs back

Eddie was distracted by the attractive Adrian who walked over

"and a hot knob too"

Adrian blushed

"I, um danke I mean charmed  what's your name?"

Eddie smiled feeling lovestruck  
"Eddie Hitler"

only for Richie to cut him off

"He is Edward Elizabeth Hitler and I'm Sir Richard Richard Eddie how come you accuse me of not being strictly heterosexual when you just called this bloke a hot knob"

 

they then started fighting as usual

while Adrian & Professor looked at them rolling their eyes "Kinky"

 


	5. The Professor finds out

The Professor asked "speaking of which Adrian how did you know Eddie?"

Adrian answered "Eddie? Oh I knew him way back when I was a skinhead"

The Professor gasped "you never told me this"

Adrian remarked "you were a third party back then"

The Professor responded offended "The THIRD PARTY?????"

 

Adrian and Eddie now try to regularly visit each other when they can

but Adrian still makes sure he has time for The Professor

and Eddie makes sure he has time for Richie 


End file.
